26 Things

Welcome back, my children.  I know, I know. It’s been months. Again. I have no excuses for myself, except that it’s all been a lot. A freakin’ whirlwind of everything since July, more or less. I had two jobs and the holidays happened and I changed jobs and then, most importantly, it was my birthday. For the past few years, we’ve celebrated the most important holiday of the year by looking back at the past year. Real Talk: 2015 was a doozy and being 26 was a wild, occasionally horrifying and nauseating, sometimes wonderful and thrilling ride. Here are twenty-six things that happened when I was 26:

I was sick for about three months in a row. But I lived and I’m grumpier and less trustworthy of people with runny noses on the other side.

I discovered a love for bouquets of flowers from the grocery store.

Furthermore, I discovered the joy of romancing yourself–not waiting for someone else to give you the things you want or need–tangible or intangible–to feel taken care of, special, or loved. (Author’s Note: That link has a lot of language in it, but also a lot of good information.)

I binge-watched “Sex and the City”.

And realized that I’m totally a Miranda.

I became an aunt.

I immediately became a better person and the worst person alive upon becoming an aunt. Don’t talk about babies around me. Because my baby is better than every other baby.

I grew a tiny garden and felt absurdly maternal feelings toward tiny baby strawberries.

I got a second job. Working 60+ hours nearly every week as a full-time receptionist and part-time library assistant was my entire life for six months.

I fell asleep in a variety of strange places. (See above)

I discovered sheet masks.

I rediscovered cream blush.

Matte liquid lipsticks were a major thing, and I went bananas for them.

I put aside my overwhelming fears of needles and lifelong commitment and got a tattoo.

I accidentally called the police at 3am, but they were totally nice about it.

I watched Over the Garden Wall like six times.

Tom Hiddleston was within one-hundred miles of me. And I had no idea. And now I will never know love.

Jurassic Park rehappened.

Donuts happened. A lot.

I discovered the art of the Capsule Wardrobe.


Binge-Watching Netflix. Specifically, Jessica Jones and Making a Murderer. (Y’all. Dean Strang.)

I found a new favorite take-out restaurant.

I finally learned how to spell restaurant. Still working on maintenance.

I had an ordeal happen at the Honey Baked Ham Store over the holiday season that involved waiting in line for over an hour and paying almost $100 for a ham. It might be my super villain origin story.

I changed jobs. I am now a full-time librarian (“library assistant”) and my childhood dreams of living amid the books have come true.


Now I’ve been 27 for almost four full days now and, honestly, I’m feeling good about it. Here’s to the coming year and being 27 and having literally none of it figured out.


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